If five men were to leave the same hand-written note on a table, their wives would have a tough job knowing the note of their individual husbands. Why? Maybe, they have never received a hand-written letter or note from their husbands in over 10 years of marriage. The same thing would happen if men were asked to pick out their wives’ handwritten letters from a pack.
The days of handwritten letters and love notes are long gone. They died when the email became popular, and were buried when phone chatting and pinging were born. When was the last time you received a letter from your post office box or home address? Most likely, over 10 years ago. Who has the time and patience to write and wait for one month to get a response when one could get a response instantly?
In addition, there are beautifully designed and romantically worded cards that can be bought and given on special days like Valentine’s Day, birthdays, wedding anniversaries etc. For those who want to send romantic words through an email, there are many romantic expressions that can be copied from many online sites. There are even love letters that had been written online that one can copy and send, with little or no adaptation, and still feel like a champion lover. So, the pull to write a letter on a paper, using a pen, is almost non-existent.
There is nobody to blame for this. It is only natural and sensible to do that which is most practical, trendy, cheaper and faster.
But there is a negative side to this. A handwritten love letter is original, different, well-thought-out, deep, detailed and concrete. Having received sms, or emails or pings for a long time, a woman would feel happier to receive a handwritten note, especially this Valentine’s Day. Novel things feel different and romantic. But most importantly, a handwritten note seems more personal and private. It has the touch of the writer. It bears the writer’s handwriting. So it gives the impression that it conveys the writer’s feelings and personality in a better way without technology as a barrier. The reader sees the writer’s personality while reading the note.
In addition, a handwritten love note can be read and re-read. It can be carried in a purse and read as many times as possible. It can be filed away. But in times of sadness, loneliness or excitement, it can be fished out and read again.
An sms or a chat message is conversational. It contains thoughts expressed on the spur of the moment depending on the trend and circumstance of the chat. So, it comes in one-line expressions. But a handwritten letter is different. It is an essay which captures the flow of the writer’s thoughts and feelings. The writer is not interrupted or distracted by the comments of the person it is directed to. The writer has all the time to spend writing it, rewriting it and ensuring that he uses the most appropriate words and expressions. That is why the reader does not read it once. She will read it first upon receipt. Then she will lie down to read it again, put it under her pillow and read it again a few more times before putting it in her purse or handbag, from where it is eventually put in a bag at home for future reference.
What sustains love is the novelty that is added to it now and then. When things are done the same way for a long time, they lose their power to excite. It is worse for people who have known each other for a long time. Most times, couples remember only to bicker, and forget to exchange love messages. Sometimes, it is because only one of the spouses uses endearing words while the other never initiates any endearing message or action. The assumption of the partner that never initiates any love move is that love is a thing of the heart, not words. But love is not only meant to be shown; it is also meant to be expressed. When this one-sided relationship persists, the partner becomes somewhat demoralized about saying or writing anything romantic. Also sometimes it is caused by the annoying words and actions that have been exchanged for years, which make it difficult to switch from the antagonistic, hurt mode to the loving mode.
But every love relationship needs a spice once in a while. That spice may not be a boat cruise. It may not be a candle-lit dinner. It may not be a new dress, some expensive jewellery, or a new car. These are all wonderful treats that can be given to a loved one this Valentine’s Day. But they may not be the fillip your marriage requires. That boost may be something as simple as a handwritten love note that truly expresses your feelings.
Most ladies who were in their teens or early twenties before the end of the 1990s received love letters, especially ones that came in flowery, scented notepads. Receiving a hand-written note would fill them with nostalgia and make them feel again like little girls falling in love for the first time.
With the presidential election shifted from February 14 to March 28, couples now have an opportunity not to be distracted by politics, especially this time when politics is acrimonious. As Valentine’s Day draws near, however you choose to celebrate it with your spouse, why not pick up your pen and paper, sit down in deep thoughts and write a sweet love letter to her? Who knows if it would be the tool that would rekindle the fire in your relationship and make your marriage filled with laughter again after many years of blandness?
Twitter @BrandAzuka
