The wedding night is believed to be very important for newly-weds to lay the foundation of their sex lives. In fact, a man once lamented that he had to call his mother-in-law to call his wife out because the latter had refused to have sex with him on their wedding night. He said he had to resort to that after his newly-wed bride refused to yield to him after much persuasion. In the light of this, Saturday PUNCH asked some Nigerians how they would feel if their partners deprived them of sex on their wedding night
I’d not be too anxious
Adah Clementina
Though sex is something most couples want to engage in on the wedding night, I don’t think one should be too anxious over it. It is not food and the fact that it doesn’t happen that night is not something to be mad over. Even though I’d expect that we have it on that night, I would be careful not to be too expectant. If I were and it doesn’t happen due to any reason, I think it could lead to unnecessary temporary depression. However, with good planning and encouragement on both his and my part, we could have it that very night.
The wedding night is sacrosanct
Richard Omotayo
Just like our politicians are delighting themselves in saying the May 29 handover date is sacrosanct, I also believe the wedding night is. If we had both waited long enough not to have sex prior to our wedding day, then I would not feel good if she deprives me of it on the night. I think the onus lies on me as a man to remove all obstacles from our way before the day itself. We would have planned well not to be too engrossed in celebration and neglect what could be described as a foundation of our love life. It is my belief that sex on the wedding night would be the sweetest in marriage.
He shouldn’t postpone the action
Adedeji Damilola
What sort of man should fail at his first responsibility? I don’t understand that. If we have been postponing the action till we wed, I don’t think it would be fair if he decides to shift it again till another day. The urge would have been accumulated and it is his duty to quench it on that night. In fact, I don’t think there should be any excuse for a man not to express his love practically to his wife on the wedding night. Complaining of stress or any other illness could make the wife think in unreasonable ways. Both of us should have prepared well enough to get on the action that same night.
It’d be understandable
Kehinde Oluwatosin
It is understandable if it doesn’t happen that night, considering all the efforts put in the wedding preparation. Personally, I would not be in the mood. The wedding night is for us to relax and refresh ourselves after a hectic day of celebration. I don’t think it will be feasible to do it on that very day. There would be fatigue, except if we have to leave our well-wishers behind for our honeymoon destination immediately after the wedding ceremony, which I don’t think would be proper. We invited them and it is expected that we stay with them till the end of it all. It’s just a-day sacrifice. We have many years afterwards to perform the action.
We’d have been tired
Joy Elo
Due to the amount of energy put in our pre- and post-wedding plans and the activities on the wedding day, having sex that same night might not be feasible. There would be fatigue and so I would understand if my husband could not approach me that night. Since it is not a commandment that new couples must have sex on their wedding nights, I think we can postpone it till the following day when we would have been refreshed. In fact, not doing it for a week after wedding should not be a strange thing. We could spend the time on a getaway just to develop more intimacy and friendship. We would have plenty of it thereafter.
I can’t feel good if she refuses
Donald Sukpa
I cannot feel good if she says she is tired or not in the mood because this is something I would have awaited for so long. Though I would not kill myself if it didn’t happen that night, I could also seek for ways to ‘compensate’ her for dashing my expectation. Perhaps the next day when she is ready for the action, I could also tell her I was tired or sick. I’d love her to apologise to me before we finally do it.
It doesn’t have to happen that night
Nwokeke Esther
Does it really have to happen that very night? I don’t think so. After dancing, among other activities during the day, I don’t think there would be much strength left to do it. We can shift the action to the following morning, when we would have started our honeymoon. Ideally, what couples should do on their wedding nights is to relax and sleep well after many days or weeks involved in the wedding preparation. After proper rest at a place far away from the hustle and bustle of the city, we can then engage in the action. As for me, couples don’t necessarily have to have sex on the wedding night.
We can do it some other time
Alamu Sunday
I don’t think a woman would want to ordinarily deprive her husband of sex on the first ‘outing’. It could be that she is tired or maybe she is a virgin, according to some of the experiences I’ve heard. If she is a virgin, it would be advisable to persuade the lady with love and care and probably seek counsel before the wedding night. Otherwise, if she is tired due to the celebration activities, it would be better to postpone the action till another day, which is what I would do if it were to happen to me.
I don’t need to fret
Edokpayi Christiana
If my spouse tells me ‘no’ on that night, I would not fret. After all, I would not be too eager to do it too. Depriving ourselves of the action just for a day could not be compared to what we would enjoy for the rest of our lives, God willing. Meanwhile, by the time we would be through with well-wishers on the day, it would be late in the night already and what should be expected is that we have a shower and sleep. In the night of the following day when we would have arrived at our honeymoon destination, the fun can begin.
I’d be disappointed
Henry Kikile
Naturally, as a man, I would not want to hear any excuse why she is not ready for sex on our wedding night. So if that be the case, I would feel disappointed and unhappy. Though I would sleep over it, she might have to apologise to me for disappointing me. Before the day, she should have known that wedding night is very important to both of us. Therefore, she must have done away with anything that might want to cause obstacle
