_____________WARNING_________________________
Please this is not a joke. It’s happening right now as we speak. So only thoughtful and ACTIONABLE responses are to be given. Please if you’re not pretty sure that your advice is super good it would DEFINITELY be better to ONLY scroll through this thread, and just read and enjoy without talking. Thanks in advance for cooperating.
___________________NOW THE SITUATION___________________
A 36 years old pastor had been dating a young girl since the past eight years. He met this girl in her late teens and was actually very instrumental in shaping the young lady’s moral perception and persona – though he NEVER supported the girl financially all those years. And that was because he was very, very poor, unschooled but probably better educated than many of our graduates today.
To give a few background, he single handedly guided the girl through the process of gaining admission to university after about three years of waiting. He also helped the girl develop self-confidence which eventually helped her to become a VP at her campus fellowship among other leadership roles.
Now the girl has graduated from the university, but her family opposed her intention to marry this pastor which ultimately contributed to their breakup late last year before her graduation proper.
Now an important point to remember is that this girl was a virgin when the pastor started dating her eight years ago, and according to what I heard, she’s still a virgin up till now as a graduate about to go for her youth service.
Now the twist is that this pastor met another girl online early this year who lives in another state quite far from where the pastor is based but that’s okay. But what’s scary is that this second lady is a complete opposite of the first girl both in good and bad sides.
– She’s a single mother with a three month old baby. (Though She’s a graduate too about to go for service.) But the first girl is still a virgin.
– The first lady is a complex and classy type but the second lady is simple and almost-naive house wife material, according to what the pastor told me.
-The pastor has known the first girl and her family for years but he has not even met this second girl face to face.
– The first girl doesn’t talk much and would rather bottle-up her emotion than let it show freely, which kind of drives the pastor nuts most times. But the second girl is said to be very, very expressive both vocally and emotionally.
Now the oddity is that the pastor has not only proposed marriage VIRTUALLY to this second lady but had actually fixed a wedding date and made lots of profound promises to her WITHOUT seeing her face to face.
Now I must also point out that the pastor’s background is strikingly similar to this new girl’s background based on what he told me. And I think that’s where the stronghold is, even though he may not want to hear that.
Now the twist again is that the first girl WANTS THE PASTOR BACK as in right now. And the pastor is currently having a squabble with the new girl because somehow the girl wants him to accept her little son as his own son in a way the pastor thinks is kind of too demanding. The pastor told me in confidence that accepting another man’s son as his first son is a big chunk to swallow but he wouldn’t mind giving it a try if not that the girl is kind of making it appear like it’s a condition for marrying her.
The reason I’m asking for your advice is that this pastor feels confident to move on with this second girl which I think is not a smart idea, but he’s the pastor here.
What I want to do is to get a thread of unbiased advice and then try to get him to read it up.
Please let the wisdom juice of brilliant advice begin to flow now.
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Thank you so much for participating.
NOTE: For those who are picking on the pastor, let me make few things categorically clear to you.
1) The pastor is NOT asking for your advice. For goodness sake READ the story and COMPREHEND it before commenting.
2) The second girl was in DEPRESSION when the pastor met her (because her supposed fiancé dumped her on the day of their traditional marriage). The pastor inspired her to come out of depression and get closer to God which she did. And she actually joined a major Pentecostal church in her state AND EVEN GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, as the pastor told me. It was after all these events that the pastor made his intention for marriage known.
3) The first girl wants to get back with the pastor and has called severally.
4) I posted this here to help the pastor see the matter from an unreligious but still REASONABLE perspective.
5) I’m pretty sure that Nairaland still has a bunch of intelligent people who are ABLE TO READ the story, UNDERSTAND it AND RESPOND to it in the proper context without insulting anyone.
